My Montauk ship has sailed: A 2012 Hamptons recap
After completing my final 'summer 2012' weekend in Montauk, I wanted to share some of my favorite FYI's - eats and drinks - and my overall bitchy, judgmental opinions:
- Trying to snag a seat on the after-work/5-something p.m. Montauk-bound LIRR (that's the train, for those of you who are not aware) takes almost as much physical and mental exertion as does experiencing sorority rush in the South. Why? Because, physically, you're competing for *one* seat with hundreds, if not thousands, of young folks. And, mentally, because most of these young folks are behaving like newly-unleashed freshman co-eds who have just "shot gunned" their first beer. I swear, if I hear the word "bro," or the song, "Call Me Maybe," one more time...
- ...to that point, it's much more civilized to travel via the 7:45a.m. train on Saturday morning. Unless you're in your 20's, it's not that big of a deal to 'miss out' on a Friday night.
- The Hampton Jitney, namely the Ambassador Class, is my preferred method of NYC-bound transportation. Too leJitney to quitney! It's quiet, the bathroom is relatively clean, and free snacks + bottled water are passed throughout the journey.
- But, let's face it, if you have a car or access to one, take advantage of your situation and drive! Trust me, freedom of movement in the Hamptons is the ultimate luxury.
- ...if you don't have access to a car, however, have cash on-hand for cabs. Lots and lots of cash.
- My cab company of choice is Lindy's: 631-907-1111.
- Montauk is really, really far. No matter what method of transportation you use (Aside from a helicopter, of course, Mr. Trump.).
- ...it's also a really, really young crowd.
- That said, I've decided that I am much more of an East Hampton girl. I love the location, the shops, the restaurants, and the fancy 'hustle-bustle.' Plus, there's a healthier mix of ages (...in other words, I'm not considered a geriatric out there.).
- I perform horribly in communal living situations with parties over 4-6. Did I not learn my lesson at camp, pre getting kicked out? Sigh.
- ...Many times, I'm just not in the mood to make 'small talk' with randoms or wear a perma-smile.
- I feel like a fat, wrinkled/freckled, buck-toothed slob. Why? Because everyone in the Hamptons is beyond gorgeous. Model-esque. Men, women...and children, too! Barely anyone is fat (Plastic surgery! Cocaine?). No one has wrinkles (Botox!). And everyone's teeth are straight and blindingly white (Braces! Zoom! Veneers!). It's kinda' like LA...only with a Brooklyn accent.
- ...oh, and everyone works out religiously, too. Thank you Exhale, Soul Cycle, Tracy Anderson, and Flywheel!
- I prefer a pool to the beach.
- The butteriest, most delicious glazed sugar cookies *anywhere* can be found at Montauk Bake Shoppe. I'm a big fan of the lighthouse variety, as seen in the picture, below.
- The frozen margarita at Cyril's sucks. Like, really bad. But the signature "BBC (Bailey's Banana Colada)," sans the rum floater, is delish.
- The frozen margarita at The Sloppy Tuna, however, is awesome. Perhaps the best on the South Fork!
- I absolutely loved reading the breakfast menu at Babette's, which contained items that I would showcase if I had my own restaurant. An example: "Huevos Deluxe" Beer-basted eggs, nachos with cheddar, salsa, avocado, and sour cream. YUM!!
- The scenery and landscaping in the Hamptons is immaculate and second to none.
- If you must do the beach, invest in a damn beach chair. Unless, of course, you enjoy finding/feeling sand in odd crevices. Laying on a towel just plain sucks. And hurts.
- Believe it or not, there is actually decent Mexican food to be had in the Hamptons! Great cheese enchiladas at Blue Parrot; yummy chips + guacamole, pork tacos, Mexican Coca-Cola (made with *real* sugar instead of corn syrup), and 'Mexican wedding cookies' at La Fondita.
~~~
Until next summer,
The Lunch Belle