Someone once said, "Math is very black or white: you either 'get it' or you don't."  Come to think of it, NYC can be very black or white, as well:

• You love it: you live here and/or visit NYC as often as you can - if you don't live here, then you fantasize about what your life would be like here

• You love to hate it: you visit NYC as least often as you can/only in the event of an emergency or because you have family here - if you do live here, then you're trying to get the hell outta' here ASAP

And speaking of folks who find themselves closer to the "you love to hate it" end of the spectrum, my mother was in town this past weekend.  She came for a solo visit sans Dad, because he was dog-sitting my sister's twin pooches (she's currently on her two-week "birthright" trip to Israel).  Nice guy, eh?  Disclaimer: sure, he's a nice guy, but Dad's not much of a NYC fan, either.He was happy to dog-sit.

When it comes to seeing my family, 9 times out of 10, I go to them, not vice versa.  Frankly, they think NYC sucks and still assume that the "Bronx is burning" and that they'll get mugged while riding the subway, circa NYC 1985.  They call California, where my sister lives, "The Promised Land."  Go figure. 

So, with Mom's impending arrival, I wanted to make sure that we had some great meals lined up, were able to take in a Broadway show or two, and had plenty of options for daytime activities because, if you know my mother, then you're aware of her undying energy level.  She makes me feel like I have a permanent case of mononucleosis.  Whew!  So, in an effort not to hear Mom say any of her famous Peggy-meets-NYC quotes (..."I didn't bring that bag because I didn't want some hoodlum to cut the shoulder strap off with a pocket knife"..."You can't wear jewelry in the daytime here - you'll get mugged"..."You can't even see the sky here!"), I did my best to create an action packed, fun-filled, and delicious itinerary for the two of us.

Here's a look in to our weekend and in to my personal mission of taking the "e-w" out of "N-e-w Y-o-r-k."  Enjoy!   

Friday, 3/18/11

Lunch: The Plaza (Hotel) Food Hall, by Todd English

• We met my Aunt Phyllis here for a quick lunch before heading uptown to the NY Botanical Garden. I had been wanting to check out this upscale "food court" for the longest, and we were all very impressed. Our sharable meal proved to be the perfect amount of food for three ladies, and the atmosphere was positively chic and fabulous. Plus, this wasn't the type of "food court" where you walk around aimlessly, trying to decide between Hot Dog On A Stick or Panda Express - no, you are seated at a table, and given a menu with a lengthy melange of the various options within the food hall. Someone else, a server, does the "running around" for you. How much do you love that?

NY Botanical Garden, "The Orchid Show: On Broadway": 3/5 - 4/25/2011

• Mom, Aunt Phyllis, and I took a Bronx-bound subway to the NY Botanical Garden after our lovely lunch. For $20/person, we had the pleasure of viewing an elaborate orchid exhibit entitled "The Orchid Show: On Broadway," mimicking famous theaters.

Spider-man: Turn Off the Dark

• Believe it or not, this was an amazing show! I'm not quite sure who is conducting the reviews for this particular Broadway production - or if there is some conspiracy pertaining to it and/or its investors, directors, etc. - but if you're anything like me and my mom in terms of stimulation and attention span, i.e. if you don't have much of one, then this is the show for you! From the costumes, set design, music, acrobatics, and even the theater, itself, Spider-man is a winner.

Dinner: Brooklyn Diner

• A couple of years ago, Mom and I went here on "accident" when we were scrambling for a meal in Times Square. Well, as it turned out, this was no accident. Every time we find ourselves in the vicinity, we always hit Brooklyn Diner. It's the kind of place that serves everything from grilled salmon to grilled cheese sandwiches. Mom and I usually split a cheeseburger "deluxe," which includes fries and onion rings but, on this particular occasion, I could not take my eyes off of our neighbor's plate of spaghetti topped with a meatball - nearly the size of my head. The extra-thick spaghetti noodles were cooked perfectly al-dente and the meatball yielded a moist, flavorful interior. Sorry folks, I forgot my camera that night!

Saturday, 3/19/11

Brunch: L'Ecole

• I invited my friend, Emily, to brunch with Mom and I and chose L'Ecole because it just so happens to be one of my top-5 favorite brunch destinations in NYC. For $23, diners have their choice of an appetizer and entree, and a basket of freshly-baked breads and pastries. Pretty reasonable, no? L'Ecole also happens to be The French Culinary Institute's "working classroom," as all of the food is prepared by the prestigious school's student chefs.

Later that afternoon, Mom and I took a stroll up 5th Avenue.  As we made our way North, something bright gold in color - almost blinding with glistening twinkles and sunbeams - was making its way South.  "No way!" I gasped, "Mom, now do you feel at home?"  She smiled as the two cholos slowly walked by, parading a gold, low-rider bicycle down 5th Avenue that was, clearly, custom made.  "Sorry, but I have to talk to them - at least get a picture," I yelled back to Mom as I ran to catch up with the fella's.  She made her way over, as well.

"Hey guys.  Guys!" I said.  They both turned around and looked at me as though I had just poured a glass of water on each of their heads for no apparent reason.  "Can I take a picture of your bike?"  Both of the dudes, similarly dressed in long, baggy jean shorts, zip-up hoodies, dark shades, and LA Dodgers ball caps looked at each other, and one responded, "No, it's private."  Really?  Then why in the hell are you walking it down 5th Avenue?  "Are you dudes from Cali?"  I asked.  They told my mom and I that they were from LA - Riverside and Compton - respectively.  She told them that my sister lived outside of LA, as well, and that we originally hailed from El Paso, which gave us some major street cred.  Ultimately, the dudes let us take a picture of the bike that they did, in fact, custom build.  The experience was a little slice of "home."        

Pre-dinner cocktails: Gansevoort Park Rooftop

• In honor of my cousin's, Eric, 25th birthday, I figured that we should begin the evening with a celebratory cocktail somewhere within walking distance of our dinner reservation. And like any red-blooded, testosterone-filled male, I thought that he would appreciate my suggestion of the rooftop bar at the Gansevoort Park, where all of the cocktail waitresses look like Sports Illustrated swimsuit models. To sum things up: drinks are overpriced - yes, there is an outdoor area, but I can't really give any feedback about that until the weather changes - service is aloof and saccharine sweet - the atmosphere is modern and trendy, but in many aspects, it seems as though the bar is overcompensating for something - and I can't quite put my finger on it.

Dinner: a birthday celebration at BLT Prime

• When I hear the word "man," there are a few things that immediately come to mind: deep voices, armpit hair, Adam's apples, and steak. So after we whetted our palettes with a cocktail, we made our way towards BLT Prime, a modern-day meat & potatoes shrine that I have wanted to try for the longest. Mom, Aunt Phyllis, Cousin Eric, and I had one of the most fun, delicious, and memorable meals together. The food was rich and overly abundant, but the atmosphere was not...in a positive way. While the decor was nothing short of sophisticated and chic, the tunes playing overhead were a mix of pop, classic rock, and motown - making every diner in the room feel, somehow, more at ease and comfortable. The scene was hardly uptight and stuffy - something you may expect from a restaurant of that caliber/in this particular neighborhood (ahem, Novita!).

Sunday, 3/20/11

Brunch: Beauty & Essex

• For Mom's last full day in town - and for the fact that she has loved prior meals at B&E's sister restaurant, The Stanton Social - I had assumed that this restaurant would be a sure fire hit. You can't beat the restaurant's sexy, gothic atmosphere - or it's incredibly head-turning eye candy - but for me, the jury's still out on this one, folks. Aside from our server and the table attendants, I found most of the employees to be aloof, snooty, and inattentive. The food was tasty, but definitely nothing that I would run back for. Maybe it's me - perhaps I'm just getting older and not really enjoying the trendy, see-and-be-scene hot spots as much as I once did.

After brunch, Mom and I walked over to Crate and Barrel and directly in to Liev Schreiber.  Literally.  Mom made a face-plant in the guy's chest.  He stepped aside, and didn't so much as wince. 

Dinner: Manzo, the full-service restaurant inside of Eataly

• Believe it or not, this wasn't our first dinner at Manzo - it was our second, actually. That's right, Mom and I had such a fun experience on Thursday, the evening that she arrived, we returned on Sunday, her last night in town! The only difference was, it was on this particular night that I remembered to bring my camera. What I love about dining within Eataly, no matter where you decide to eat, is that while you're waiting for your table to become available, you have the option to stroll around one of the most incredible Italian gourmet complexes in the world. Literally. The hostesses notify you by taking your cell phone number and simply give you a phone call when they're ready to seat your party. Nine times out of ten, your phone rings/vibrates much earlier than you expect. On both of the occasions that we ate at Manzo, Mom and I opted to dine at the bar. This proved to be casual, fun, interactive, action-packed, and great for people-watching. Just our style!

Funny side note:on Sunday night, our waiter was super creepy and never once looked Mom or me in the eye.  It was kind of like being on a really bad first date.  While we were perusing the "primi" portion of the menu, the "Girasoli di Mortadella" pasta kept catching our eye.  "What is mortadella?"  Mom asked our waiter.  "To be honest, it's like bologna," he replied.  After Mom took her first bite of this pasta, she said, "This filling tastes exactly like deviled ham!  I bet that's what this is, Linds!  It actually looks like it, too!"  She was right.  The "mortadella" had a very pale-pink tinge and tasted identical to Mom's favorite canned protein.  Mom flagged the waiter over and used her index finger to motion him in closer, as if she was going to tell him a secret.  In a loud whisper she said, "The inside of the raviolis taste just like deviled ham."  He smirked.  "Do you know what deviled ham is?"  He shook his head suggesting that he did not.  "When I was younger, my father and I used to get two slices of white bread and spread them with mayonnaise, a layer of deviled ham, and a couple of potato chips.  Talk about a great sandwich!"  Believe it or not, Mom's honest Southern proclamation actually cracked somewhat of a smile on our stoic waiter's face.  "I put peanuts on some of my sandwiches," he said.

Conclusion:

Did I effectively prove to Mom that I could take the "e-w" out of "N-e-w Y-o-r-k?"  Not quite, but she certainly enjoyed her visit and is "liking" The Big Apple more and more each and every time she visits.

The end.

…

Until we eat again,

Lindsay, The Lunch Belle