After you stick your foot in your mouth, how do you relieve yourself?  And, by "relieve," I'm not talking about the post-insertion peace talk.  No, I'm curious as to what vice helps you temporarily numb the pain (...from a particularly grand foot-to-mouth insertion)?  Perhaps it's alcohol.  Cigarettes?  Or, maybe you're one of those people who feels less stressed after an intense workout. 

While I've resorted to all three of those "pain relievers" at one time or another, my all time go-to is food.  Always has been - always will be.  Why?  Food doesn't talk back - food doesn't smell bad (unless, of course, you're eating a fancy French cheese) - food doesn't impair you to the point of not being able to operate a vehicle/machinery - food won't give you lung cancer - and, unless you're eating something particularly spicy, food will not make you sweat (...thus ruining a blow-out).  

And, speaking of food, after I inserted a particularly large foot in to my small mouth last week, I went on a restaurant-hopping rampage.  So, on that note, I've decided to draft a roundup of my gluttonous cross-city tour.  Enjoy!

~~~

Sons of Essex - CLOSED

If you visited 'Mason Dixon' (the country bar with a mechanical bull) prior to its closure, then you are already familiar with the space that now houses SoE (Sons of Essex).  Leave it to Matt Levine & co. to completely transform a space and add "cool" where cool lacked. 

SoE is accessed through an unmarked door in a makeshift deli/bakery kiosk where, once inside, guests are transported to a sexy, Prohibition-era space.

Photo: Forbes dot comThe beverage program at SoE would definitely be classified as "mixology," as both detail and care are ingredients in every hand-crafted cocktail.  And, in terms of the food, the menu could best be described as a modern, fashion-forward twist on American comfort fare. 

Michelle and I ordered:

• Hen & Waffles:  a maple-infused Belgium waffle wedge was crowned with a very small-boned, glazed hen.  The waffle, while flavorful, could have used a side of maple syrup, as I love to dredge.  I would have preferred the hen to have been fried instead of pan sauteed...or was it baked?
• Arugula Salad:  I loved the texture of this salad due to the melange of components:  roasted red peppers, goat cheese, sliced pear, and candied walnuts.  The spiciness from the peppery arugula greens was subtly toned by the calming mint-citrus vinaigrette.
• Truffle Mushroom Pizza:  this, along with a slew of other menu items, was very truffle oil centric.  I was pleased to find that this particular pizza was not overpowered by truffle essence.  Rather, its other components - sheep's milk ricotta, marscapone, goat cheese, sauteed shrooms, and arugula - stood out quite nicely.

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Almond

This was not my first, or even second, brunch at Almond.  But I can guarantee you that it will be my last. 

Emily and I had plans to meet up with our friends, Bryan and Phil, at Hells Kitchen's 44 1/2 for a leisurely Saturday brunch.  Unfortunately, due to some last-minute circumstances, the date fell through.  So, Em and I decided to go somewhere closer to our respective homes.  Almond it was.

Aside from the fact that there were more strollers in the restaurant than guests, both the service and the food totally sucked. 

To start, Em and I decided to share the Chilled 1/2 Lobster.  The total amount of lobster meat was equivalent to that of one shrimp.  Literally.  Plus, the lobster, itself, tasted as if it were caught last summer.  Fishy, mushy, and emaciated.  Blech.

For my entree, I ordered the croque madame, which was beautifully presented in a hot skillet.  The bread was completely over-toasted, the egg was poached not fried, the ham tasted like hot dog meat, and there was barely any Mornay/Bechamel sauce.  It was a dried-out disaster.

And, to top all of that off, our waitress was passive-aggressive and a know it all who, in reality, knew nothing.

Never.  Again. 

~

Cafe Boulud

When my aunt, Susan, is in town, she loves to take me to fabulous brunches at restaurants that I would not, otherwise, frequent.  Case in point:  Cafe Boulud. 

Situated in Manhattan's ritzy Upper East Side, CB (Cafe Boulud) is the neighborhood's quintessential restaurant for its well-heeled residents.  But don't let that statement/description scare you away, because CB offers a fabulous 2-course, prix fixe brunch for $39.  Still sound too steep?  It's really not, especially when you consider the fact that you're eating critically acclaimed French cuisine paired with impeccable service.  Oh, and that's not to mention the added amuse bouche and other sweet surprises in store for your dining experience...

The meal began with a loaf of freshly-baked baguette and sea-salted butter.  The amuse bouche that followed was the most delightfully crisp, black truffle-flecked arancini.  For my two courses, I chose to begin with the Crepes Suzette with vanilla chantilly, followed by the Scrambled Eggs with butter-poached lobster and a side of toasted brioche.    

To end the meal on a sweet note, the kitchen brought us a gratis basket of warm, buttery, house-made mini madeleines.  Tres parfait!   

~

He Nan Flavor - CLOSED

With claims to being "The First HeNan Restaurant in East America," I was really looking forward to the group dinner that my friend, Christine, organized at He Nan Flavor.  Situated in a small, cozy space in the heart of Chinatown, the BYOB restaurant is bright, casual, and no-frills.  What it lacks in decor and ambiance, it makes up for with excellent Henan cuisine.

Our group chose to dine "family style," and ordered the following dishes:

• Cold cucumber wedges:  garlic-y, salty, and crisp, these cukes were even better than the version that I had at Cafe China
• Homemade steamed pork dumplings:  I found the dough to be a little thick, but overall, these were pretty standard dumplings
• Soup dumplings:  I thought that the dumpling meat, which I assumed to be pork, had an odd fishy aftertaste.  Fail.
• Pancake with pork:  if you pass the restaurant on the street, you will notice a woman making "pancakes" through the window.  These fluffy bread disks were stuffed with sweet, shredded pork.
• Grilled pepper chicken with rice:  imagine sauteed green bell peppers and white onions - a la fajitas - dotted with chunks of brown-meat chicken and served alongside a mound of sticky, white rice.  Not being fond of brown chicken meat, I ate everything but.
• Spicy big tray chicken:  regarding the brown chicken meat, see above.  This spicy, broth-y dish was chock-full of potatoes, red pepper, cilantro and hand-pulled noodles. 
• Egg & tomato hui mei:  scrambled egg, stewed tomatoes and hand-pulled noodles came together magically in this dish that proved to be my favorite.
• Black bean sauce hui mei:  I loved how the robust, meaty black bean sauce complimented the bland hand-pulled noodles.

This is the kind of food you crave on cold winter days.

~~~

Until we eat again & happiest Thanksgiving wishes to all,

The Lunch Belle